Chris Farmer's Blog

New manager training - Where can I find a good manager training course?

Chris Farmer info@corporatecoachgroup.co.uk — Fri, 17 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT

New manager training: Where can I find a good manager training course?

Where can you find good new manager training?

Let us assume that you have a manager who is in charge of a team of people. The person has been with your company for a few years and knows the products the services, the customers and suppliers.

As a consequence of possessing that knowledge, he-she is given the role of new manager. It seemed to be the logical choice.

But now the manager is in need of training. He-she is having some difficulties with the manager role.

Specifically he is having trouble in the following ways:

1. He does not delegate as much as he should

He tends to try to do it all, either for fear of not imposing himself on the others: or because he wants to have all the tasks done his way: and therefore wants to do all the tasks himself.

Or he simply does not know the importance of delegation. Either way; he is not delegating sufficient work and is being overwhelmed by the volume of work.

The new manager needs training in delegation skills.

2. The manager does not handle performance issues or conflict situations very well

The manager may make this mistake in two ways.

� �1. The manager backs away from conflict issues and hopes that they will solve themselves.
� �2. The manager does try to tackle the issue, but words things badly and manages to antagonise the situation and the manager makes a bad situation, worse.

The manager needs training in order to enable him-her to be able to manage the performance or conflict issue more objectively and more economically.

The new manager needs conflict management training.

3. The new manager does not prioritise or manage time properly

The manager is failing to prioritise tasks and is therefore being caught out, with too many deadline overruns.

The team is not operating according to a well worked out set of priorities. It is rather, reacting to circumstances and responding to emergencies, as they come up. They are reactive, rather than proactive.

The manager is not planning, prioritising, preventing problems sufficiently. The manager is not planning ahead.

The new manager needs training in order to show him:

1.The importance of planning ahead, and�
2.How to plan ahead

The manager needs time management training.

4. The manager lacks confidence in him- herself as the manager

Sometimes there seems to be signs that the manager is unable to convince himself, or others, that he is indeed, the 'boss'. �

The manager is friends with all of the other members of the team; they have known each other for a long time. Consequently there is sometimes a clash in the mind of the manager between two desires:

1. �The desire to be a good boss and ask the team to stop chatting and get back to work.
2. �The desire to be a good friend and ask the team if they saw that thing on TV last night.

In other words the manager needs training in leadership skills.

Leadership skills means, to a degree, having to change your relationship with the others at work, so that you are acting as primarily a manager leader, and secondarily as a friend.

If there is any clash between the demands of being a leader- manager and the demands of being a friend, then the manager role trumps the friend role.

At least whilst at work the 'manager role' trumps the 'friend role'.

The manager needs training in leadership skills.

5. The manager needs help to communicate more clearly and confidently

Now the manager needs to make presentations to more senior managers. The manager may need to explain the team's goals, plans, performance, problems, and proposals to other more senior people.

This can present a problem of communication confidence.

The manager finds it hard to express himself in formal settings and feels slightly lacking in confidence when it comes to expressing ideas and information, in both the spoken and written word.

The manager needs training in how to better communicate

The manager needs training to make him more effective as a speaker, and (to a lesser degree), as a writer

The manager needs training to make him- her more confident to say what she is thinking in an assured and persuasive manner.

The new manager needs training in communication skills.

6. You may be thinking the following:

I have a manager in my organisation that is in charge of a team of people. �This manager has been with us for an appreciable length of time and is a good worker. �He knows the company products, the company services, our customers and suppliers.

That is why we gave him the role of manager. It seemed to be the logical thing to do.

But now he is in need of training. He is having some difficulties with the manager role.

He needs a training course that will help improve the performance of himself as the new manager and therefore the performance of the team as a whole.�

The manager needs training in:

Delegation skills
Conflict management skills
Time management skills
Training in leadership skills
He needs training in communication skills

Where can you find such a training course that will cover all these things in just two days training?

For more information about manager training please visit the Corporate Coach Training website

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How can I improve my body language?

Chris Farmer info@corporatecoachgroup.co.uk — Tue, 14 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT

How can I improve my body language?

How can you improve your body language?

Whilst on one of our recent leadership and management training courses, during a lunch break, I was approached by a male delegate, a gentleman called Mark, who said quietly: "Can I have a private word with you?"

I said "Yes, of course: what is it?"

Mark said, "I want to become a better manager, but I know that I don't come across very well, especially in regards to my body language. People don't warm to me.

I am doing something wrong. But I don't really know what it is, so can I ask you, how can I improve my body language?"

I said, "That is an excellent question, and so when we get back to the training, I will take that question and answer it in front of the whole group. (Don't worry, Mark, I won't make reference to you.)

Then later, in front of the whole group, I answered the question like this:

"Remember that, when you are communicating with someone, in a face to face situation, (I.e. not on the phone, or e mail) then you are using, three, channels of communication.

1. Your words
2. Your voice tones
3. Your body language

"Your words" means: your message is partly constituted from the vocabulary you employ.
"Your voice tone" is the musical and sound qualities of your voice: the pitch, the rhythm, the volume, the intonation and the stress.
"Your body language" is your visual impact: How you look; how you appear, visually, to the other people, as you communicate.

Your body language is a very powerful force.

And like all powerful forces, it can work for you, or against you:

Some people just don't come across very well. And that fact harms their chances immensely.
Some other people really do come across very well. And that fact helps their chances immensely.

The trick is to understand how to harness the power of your own body language to work for you, not against you.
How can you harness the power of your own body language to work for you, not against you?

Step one
Step one is to understand that your body language is made up of 10 major sub-sets. Each of which can be thought of separately; but each work in a synchronised way with all the others.

What are the 10 sub-sets of your body language?

Here they are in order of relative importance.

1) Location
2) Dress code
3) Posture
4) Facial expression
5) Eye contact
6) Hand and arm gestures
7) Touch
8) Orientation
9) Proximity
10) Props

If you want to improve your body language, then improve all the elements of body language.
The more of these you improve, the greater your overall score will be.
Let us look at each one in turn.

1. Your Location
If you are not there when you are supposed to be there, that speaks volumes to the person left waiting for you to turn up.

If you are there, when you said you would be there, maybe you arrive a few minutes in advance of the agreed time, then that also speaks volumes.

The biggest thing is to be in the right place at the right time.

2. Your Dress code
Every event has a context. And every context implies a certain dress code.

If you are in the football stands with the Chelsea fans, then don't wear an Arsenal tee shirt.
If you are going to the ball, wear a ball gown. Unless you are a man, and in that case, wear a Tux.

If you are on the farm, wear your green wellies.
But don't wear green wellies to the ball.
And don't wear your Tux on the farm.

Dress in a manner that is consistent with the context.

Don't be dogmatic and say, "I will wear whatever I please. People shouldn't judge a book by its cover".
Well, maybe they shouldn't, but the fact is, they do!
So, let that fact work for you, and not, against you.

Play the social game by the proper conventions and you will more likely win.
Break all the social conventions and you will more likely lose.

Do not walk into the lounge, with your dirty, wellies on.
Dress according to the context.
Use your common sense and be adaptable.

3. Your Posture
In most business contexts, the rules are these:

Don't slouch. Don't lean.
Stand up straight. Sit up straight.

Look as if you are alert.
Look as if you have some energy and self-control.

Don't look like you are falling to sleep.
Give yourself the look of a person who is ready and willing to do something really good.
Stand up straight. Sit up straight.

4. Your Facial expression
There are fundamentally two good expressions and fundamentally three bad ones.

The two good ones are:
1. Good natured - humorous
2. Goal focused concentration

And the three bad ones are:
1.Miserable- negative
2.Angry
3.Bored

If you are miserable, angry and-or bored, you infect everyone else with the same emotions. And the productivity goes down.
If you are goodnatured and goal focused, then you affect everyone else with the same emotions and the productivity goes up.

So, in terms of your facial expression try to be goodnatured and goal focused.

5. Your Eye contact
You need to give the right amount of eye contact.

Too much, makes you seem intrusive.
Too little, makes you seem aloof.

The rule here is:
Give the other person about the same amount of eye contact that he- she is giving to you.

If the other person is looking into your eyes, then hold his gaze.
If she is not looking at you, then don't stare at her.
Your eye contact is uniquely powerful, since the eyes are the windows to the soul!

6. Your Hand and arm gestures

Here is the rule:

Never point.

Never point at anyone
Never point your finger
Never point your pen

If you have to gesticulate, then do so with:

An open hand
Palms down
Below the eye line, gesture

Emphasise your key words with an open handed, Palms down, below the eye line, hand gesture.

Don't point

7. Your Touch
Generally, in a work setting, don't touch people up!

Don't put your arms around them. Don't feel them.
Don't become the creepy guy or the flirtatious woman.

It can too easily go wrong.

Keep your handshakes, brief, firm and dry.
Don't give long, damp, limp handshakes.

8. Your Orientation
Orientation is the angle at which you stand or sit, relative to the other person.

Don't stand toe to toe!
Don't stand face on.
Stand at a slight angle, with one shoulder slightly forward.

Don't sit square across the table
Sit so you are at an angle
Square on is an aggressive orientation

Position yourself so you are at an angle.

9. Your Proximity
How far away are you from the other?

In normal conversation, don't get any closer than one arm's length.
Don't invade his- her "personal space".
Keep a reasonable distance.
About 18 to 24 inches (or more) is right.

10. Your Props
Props means:

Your car. Your office. Your phone.
Some people buy a car to impress others.
Some people wear a particular watch simply to impress others.
I am not a great fan of props.

If you don't have personal power, then a car will not compensate for the lack.
And it is hard to get the Ferrari into the meeting room.

So my advice is don't waste too much energy and money on posing props.
Make yourself your best "prop".
In other words improve the other nine elements.

Improve your awareness of your:

1. Location
2. Dress code
3. Posture
4. Facial expression
5. Eye contact
6. Hand and arm gestures
7. Touch
8. Orientation
9. Proximity

Thank you

For more information about communication skills training please visit the Corporate Coach Training website

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How can I stop myself from worrying so much?

Chris Farmer info@corporatecoachgroup.co.uk — Wed, 8 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT

How can I stop myself from worrying so much?

On a recent training course, I was asked by one of the delegates, a man called Reese, a question that I hear many people asking; "How can I stop myself from worrying so much?"

Reese continued, "In one way I NEED to worry. I need to think about my work problems in order to solve them.
But in another way, I must NOT think about my problems because the stress it causes me is so much that I cannot rest; I have trouble sleeping; I become irritable and argumentative with my colleagues and my family.

I need to worry to some degree, but I must not worry too much. So how do I do that?"

I answered as follows:

"Reese, pick up your pen and draw a big square on your pad..

In the lower left corner, write the word "thoughts": On the upper left corner write the word "feelings", in the upper right corner write the word, "actions", and in the lower right corner write the words, "external results".

Think about your "External results".

Everyone wants better results, if you are doing well; you still would like to be doing better.

If you are not doing well, then you would like to be doing better.

Everyone wants to create better results. More progress, more profit, a nicer physical environment. Better external results.

In order to do better, you must improve your actions, (look at upper right corner). If you take better actions, then over time, you will get better results.

If you don't take better actions, then you won't get better results.

But you will agree that your actions are governed, partly, by how you feel, on any given moment. (look at the top left corner)

If you feel bad, you act badly.
If you feel strong, then you act strong.
If you feel weak then you act weak.
If you feel angry; you act angry.
If you feel fearful and scared, then you act accordingly.

Your actions are governed (strongly influenced) by how you feel.

Look at your diagram and you will see:

Your results depend on your actions.
Your actions depend on your feelings.

QUESTION: What do your feelings depend on?

Be careful.
Don't say that your feelings depend on your external results.

If you make that mistake, then you are doomed to emotional turmoil.
If you make a direct connection (diagonally across your square, to connect your feelings with your external results), then you will lose control of your emotional life.
If you tie your emotional life directly to your external results: you will lose control of yourself.
And most people (90%) make this error.
They make their emotional life, their feelings, contingent on their external results.

They draw in the diagonal line.

Don't do it.

And if you already have done it, undo it!
You must instead recognise that the source of your feelings is, in fact, your thoughts.

Remember this phrase:
You feel whatever you think about.
Whatever you think about, is dictating how you feel.

You feel whatever you think about.
If you think you will win; then you feel confident.
If you think you will lose, then you don't feel confident.
If you think about food, you will start to feel hunger.
If you think about your goals, then you start to feel motivated.
If you think she is lying, then you will feel angry.
If you think you are in trouble, then you will feel anxious.

You DON'T feel emotions consistent with objective external results.
You DO feel whatever you think about.

And here is the key point: you can control what you think about.
And: You cannot control the external results;

You cannot control the external results, the external world. But you can, with practice, control the internal world.
You can control what you think about; and therefore you can control how you feel.

If you are feeling worried. It is not because you have many problems.

Just because you have many problems does not mean that you must burn yourself up worrying.

If you have problems you must spend your time solving them, not worrying about them.

And when you have done all the problem solving that you can do, then you must learn to put it out of your mind, and switch your mind to thinking of other things.

Don't burn out your motors with endlessly turning over problems in your mind, thinking:

What if it all goes wrong?
What if it does not work?
What if I get into trouble?
What if they say no?
What if? What if? What if?

Here is my advice

1. Break the link you have in your mind between your feelings and your outside world, external results.

Why? Because you cannot control the world.

If your mental emotional stability is linked directly to the outside world results, and if the outside world results are always in a state of upset, confusion and in a certain amount of crises, then that condition will be reflected in how you will feel, you will feel constantly upset, confused, and in a certain amount of emotional crisis.

Break the link you have in your mind that links directly, the outside world and your feelings.

2. Establish the link between your thoughts and your feelings.
If you control your thoughts then you control your feelings.
If you don't control your thoughts then you won't be able to control your feelings.

When you have problems then spend time thinking about them in the following way:

1. Identify the problem, name it.
2. Identify the causes of the problem. Name them; name four causes.
3. Identify, for each cause, what you think you can do to interrupt the causes. Write down the steps.

Then.

4. Identify the possible knock on consequences of having the initial problem. Name four possible consequences that may follow on from the existence of the initial problem.
5. Then for each consequence, write down counter measures. Write down what you can do to negate or minimise the negative effects of the first problem.

Once you have done all of that, stop thinking about it!

Move on to think about something else!

Play with the kids.
Go for a meal.
Study history.
Do anything! Other than worrying any more, on that day.

Next day, you put your plan into action and repeat the process, asking and answering the same five questions every day.

3. Do your legitimate thinking and then distract yourself and think about something else more pleasant

You must develop the ability to:
Think about your problems: what they are, their causes, their solutions, their implications and the corresponding countermeasures.

But in addition you must learn how and when to stop.
Stop your brain from going over the same old ground.

You must learn to control your own mind.

If you do, emotional peace of mind will be yours for the taking.

Thank you for reading this.
Have fun.

For more information about personal development training please visit the Corporate Coach Training website

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Personal effectiveness - Emotional intelligence training

Chris Farmer info@corporatecoachgroup.co.uk — Tue, 7 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT

Personal effectiveness - Emotional intelligence training

For more information about Personal effectiveness training please visit the Corporate Coach Training website

Emotional intelligence has two major components.
The first element of emotional intelligence training is developing the art of being able to manage your own emotions, so that you are able to achieve the optimum emotional response that is appropriate to the circumstances that face you.

The second element of emotional intelligence training is developing the art of being able to manage other people's emotions, so that you are able to inspire in others, the optimum emotional responses that are appropriate to the circumstances that face you both.

The first part; the ability to manage your own emotions, is more important than the second part. The ability to manage the emotions of others is predicated on the fact that you can manage your own emotions.

In other words, if you cannot manage yourself, if you are feeling angry, defeated, depressed, disorganised, confused, bewildered and tired, then you are really not in a position to manage the emotions of other people.

You must first be able to create in yourself feelings of optimism, motivation, self-confidence, warmth, good humour and resilience, on demand, before you can dish it out to other people.

You cannot distribute that which you do not possess.

So you must first learn the principles of emotional intelligence and apply them to yourself; and only then are you in a position to work on the others.

Healer, heal thyself.

So let us begin.

If you want to study emotional intelligence we will need to understand what an emotion is, and where emotions come from.

Here is the definition of an emotion.
An emotion is a response to a thought, or belief that is held in the mind.

An emotion is not a primary fact. It is a secondary fact.
Emotions follow thoughts.

The cause of the emotion is the thought that precedes it.
The thought is the cause, and the emotion is the effect.

You feel whatever you think about.
So put simply;

If you think good thoughts, then you feel good.
If you think bad thoughts, then you feel bad.
If you have mixed thoughts about any issue, then you will have mixed feelings about that issue.

This is the fundamental principle that you should understand.

Here it is again; burn the following sentence into your brain, memorise it and ponder the implications.

You feel whatever you think about.
You feel whatever you think about.
You don't react to circumstances. You don't react to-what-is.
You don't react (directly) to external facts.
You react to what you- think- they are. And. You react to what you think about them. You react to what you think the facts will mean to you.

This is a wonderful insight because it gives you the lever you need to help you move your feelings.

You cannot control the facts.
But you can, with practice, control what you think about.

How can you control what you think about?
You can control what you think about by taking the following steps:

Decide to control what you think about.
You must decide to take hold of the controls in your mind and steer your brain in one of two categories of thought, and simultaneously away from three other categories of thought.

What are the two positive categories of thought?
The two positive categories of thought are as follows:

1. Thinking about the moment; the momentary present.
2. Thinking about a positive future; a future that is better than the present.

What are the three negative categories of thought?

The three negative categories of thought are as follows.

Thoughts of the bad things that have already happened in the past.
Thoughts of the bad things that may happen in the future.
Thoughts of how the past was better than the present.

What are the emotional consequences of each of the five categories of thought?

If you are thinking about the moment you are in: the momentary present. Then you will respond emotionally to the moment.

This, by definition, will be context specific and is likely to be an appropriate response.
I.e. If you are in bed you and you focus your mind on the warmth of the bed and the silence of the night and the softness of the mattress, then your response will likely be one of ease and of falling asleep.

If you are on a busy motorway, and you are focusing on the speeding traffic. The lorry in your rear view mirror, the rain on the windscreen, then your emotional response will be one of tension and mental focus.

Both tension and ease are good emotions in context. And both are bad out of context.

If you are in bed and feeling tense. Then there is something wrong.
If you are on the motorway in the rain and in heavy traffic and you are falling asleep, then there is something wrong.

Focus on the facts of the moment. And respond to the facts as they are.

Future good
What are the emotional consequences of thinking about a positive future; a future that is better than the present?

If you fill your mind with thoughts of a positive future. Then you will feel feeling consistent with that thought process.

Emotions such as: Optimism. Confidence. Energy. Enthusiasm. Motivation. Happiness.

This is a pleasant place to live. Most of us would benefit from additional doses of these emotions.

Question
Would you like to experience more intense and frequent feelings of optimism? Confidence. Energy. Enthusiasm. Motivation. Happiness?
You can do that, if, and only if, you direct your thought and conversation towards a positive future; i.e. one that is better than the present.

Future bad
What are the emotional consequences of thinking about a bad or painful future i.e. a bad future; one which is possible but as yet, not real?
If you think in this way, then you will experience feelings of worry, anxiousness, and fear, loss of confidence, failure, stress and unhappiness.
These emotions are destructive to the psyche.

If you have an overdose of worry, anxiousness, fear, loss of confidence, failure, stress and unhappiness, then you will be in a negative and resourceful state. And this will impact on both your subjective experience and your objective responses to the world.

You will feel bad and act badly.
Therefore, we suggest that you consciously guard against overdosing on too much thinking about a painful future: a painful future; one which is possible but as yet, not real.

Past bad
What are the emotional consequences of thinking about a bad or painful past?
If you think in this way, then you will experience feelings of Remorse, regret, anger, injustice, blame, bitterness, revenge, failure, guilt and shame.

These emotions are also destructive to the psyche.

If you have an overdose of anger, or blame, or revenge, or guilt, or remorse, then you will be in a negative and resourceful state. And this will impact on both your subjective experience of happiness and your objective behaviours and responses to the world. You will feel terrible and act worse.

Therefore we suggest that you consciously guard against overdosing on too much thinking about a bad or painful past.

Direct your mind away from reflecting how the past was a terrible experience.

If you fill your mind with thoughts of a positive future. Then you will feel feeling consistent with that thought process.

What are the emotional consequences of thinking about how the past was better than the present?
If you are thinking that the past was better than the present then you will feel dissatisfaction about the present.
If you consider that the past represented a golden age. That the present just does not measure up to the way things used to be. If you wish vainly to a return to yesteryear. Then what emotions are consistent with that thought.

Answer. Then you would feel dissatisfied. You would feel a faint sense of loss for good things past.
You would feel out of sorts. You would feel dispirited. Unhappy with the current situation. You would be ill at ease. Unhappy.

Direct your mind away from reflecting how the past was better than the present day.
Imprecation for your emotional intelligence skills.

Your emotional intelligence relies on you to manage your emotions.
Your emotions flow as a direct consequence of the content of your mind.
Your ability to manage your emotions boils down to your ability to manage the content of your mind.

To sum up:
An emotion is a response to a thought, held in the mind.
And an emotion follows every thought.
The cause of the emotion is the thought that precedes it.
You feel whatever you think about.

So put simply:
If you think good thoughts, then you feel good.
If you think bad thoughts, then you feel bad.
If you want to develop emotional intelligence then: Learn to control the content of your mind.

For more information about Personal effectiveness training please visit the Corporate Coach Training website

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Very good Leadership and Management training

Chris Farmer info@corporatecoachgroup.co.uk — Thu, 2 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT

Very good Leadership and Management training - Learn some important distinctions

On our leadership and management training programmes we make important distinctions between similar but different concepts.

It is important to distinguish between similar but different concepts for the same reason that it is important to distinguish between a pussy cat and a tiger.

If you think you are dealing with a hungry pussy cat when, in reality, you are dealing with a hungry tiger, then you may experience some serious problems.

If you attend our very good leadership and management training programme, then here is a list of some of the distinctions that we will ask you to make:

Funny vs. silly
Leader vs. manager
Criticism vs. cynicism
Opinion vs. fact
Stubborn vs. determined
Busy vs. productive work
Insult vs. feedback

Let us briefly run through these and make sure we know which one is the pussy cat and which one is the tiger.

Funny vs. silly
Humour is often used to ease the day. But humour has two major types.

Humour that is funny: this means: intelligently amusing, witty, and fun.
Humour that is silly: this means: mistakenly clowning around, being crass, puerile, idiotic.

Don't get these two mixed up.

Being funny is fine. But that means being witty, not being the clown.

Leader vs. manager
Is there a difference between being a leader and being a manager?
A leader is a member of a team or organisation who is primarily responsible for:

1. The creation and communication of a clear goal.
2. Inspiring other people to act in order to achieve the goal.
3. Acting as a source of motivation by being a role model.

Whereas, we define a manager as being a member of a team or organisation who is primarily responsible for:

1. Organising

2. Implementing
3. Delivering the goals that are set out by the leadership

Criticism vs. cynicism

Criticism is the act of identifying errors and omissions, in a project, with the intention of making the project better, by suggesting the implementation of beneficial changes.
Cynicism is the act of identifying errors and omissions, in a project, with the intention of stopping the project, by holding up the implementation of any beneficial changes.

It is a right and proper thing to do: to identify errors and omissions in a project, but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.

It is right and proper for others to identify errors and omissions in your project, but make sure they are not doing it in order simply to prevent the implementation of progressive changes.

Opinion vs. fact
A fact is a primary identification of an event or object by means of a direct sensory perception.An opinion is a statement that denotes your evaluation, your judgement of the relative value, of a given fact.
Notice the difference between these two statements:

That is a blue sky. Fact
That is a beautiful sky. Opinion

1. The Beatles are the top selling band in history.
2. The Beatles are the best band in history.

Many people do not distinguish between opinions and facts. They mistakenly believe that all their opinions are facts.So, they say weird things, such as, "This new manager we have, is really annoying, and that is a fact!"
No it is not a fact. It is your opinion.Check yourself and verify that you are not guilty of the common mistake of confusing your opinions with hard facts.

Stubborn vs. determined
Stubbornness is a vice and determination is a virtue.
Determination is the refusal to give up on a goal. No matter how many setbacks and disappointments you have to suffer, you keep going, modifying your plans until you achieve your desired ambition.
Stubbornness is the refusal to give up a particular habit. No matter how much you are told that the habit is counterproductive or even harmful, you keep saying to yourself, "I am not changing!" "I am what I am".

If you are determined, then nothing can stop you from achieving your ambitions.If you are stubborn, then nothing can stop you from repeating your time-worn, ingrained mistakes.
Be determined. Don't be stubborn.

Busy vs. productive work
Busy work is any activity.Productive work is only those activities that add value to your day.Many people are busy on activities that don't add any value to anyone's day.Some people are busily engaged in activities that take value from other people's days; i.e. they are busy engaged in destructive activity.

Don't be destructive.Don't do things that don't add value.Do only those things that add value to your days and the lives of others.

Insult vs. feedbackFeedback is a message that tells you that someone else thinks you are doing something incorrectly.Insult is a message that tells you that someone else thinks that you are a bad person.
Feedback differs from insults because all insults are:

Emotionalised
Vague
Opinionated
Do not suggest a specific corrective action.

Whereas, feedback messages are the opposite.

Feedback messages are:

None emotionalised
Specific
Factual
Do, indeed, suggest a specific corrective action

For example: if you tell me that I am a fool, then that is an insult.

Whereas, if you tell me I have a spelling mistake in this document, then that is feedback.

Distinguish information from insult and have a different policy for each.

Your homework:
Your homework is to distinguish all these similar but different terms. Don't get confused and mix them up.
Think straight and keep the differences clear and distinct, in your mind.
And then, when you have the above list clear: try and sort out the following distinctions, for yourself.

Reason vs. excuse for not doing something.
Morally wrong vs. factually wrong.
The difference between "An Untrue statement" and "a lie".
The difference between "An understanding" and "an agreement".
This is important material. Learn it well.

For more information about leadership and management training please visit the Corporate Coach Training website

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How to deal with a smelly person at work

Chris Farmer info@corporatecoachgroup.co.uk — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 00:00:00 GMT

How to deal with a smelly person at work

If you have to tell a colleague he smells, how do you do it?

If a colleague has a problem with personal hygiene and is therefore a bit smelly, you may be the one who has to tell him. Her.

But how?

If you need to know, then read on. Here are the steps.

Step one
Book a room so that you can have a private, one to one conversation. Don't tell him, (I will assume a male example in this article): Don't tell the person what the meeting is about. Just tell him you need to see him about something which is not too important, but it is urgent.

Step two
When you get to the room sit at the corner of the table and ask him to sit at the adjacent corner. i.e. so that you are at 45 degrees to each other. You don't want to be sat across the table, because that sets up a confrontational situation.

Step three
When he arrives you start by thanking him for coming and when he is settled you say something very close to the following script.

"Jon, thank you for coming. I want to tell you something, but before I do, I need to warn you that what I have to say, is of a rather personal nature, and I need you to know that. Okay?"

Pause for only about two seconds and then continue.

Step four
"Jon, as I sit here, and whenever I get this close to you, I can SENSE (don't say smell) a certain distinct odour, (not SMELL)".
"It is not a perfume. It is some kind of body odour."
Then, pause for about two second's to let that sink in.

Then continue in the following way:

Step five
"Would you please do whatever you need to do, in respect of this, to remedy the situation?"
Then stop talking and wait for him to respond.

One of three things will happen.

Step six
He will say,

1."Oh no! Yes of course I will".
2.Or he will say, "I know that I have this problem and I am fighting it".
3.Or he will say, "I know that I have this problem and who are you to tell me what to do. You are not my mother".

If he says, "Oh no! Yes! Of course I will."

Then you say "Great!"

If he says, "I know that I have this problem and I am fighting it." Then you say, "You need to see your GP and get some help and advice. Will you please see your GP?"

If he says, "I know that I have this problem and who are you to tell me what to do? You are not my mother."

You say, "I know it is ordinarily none of my business. But the fact is that, whenever I get this close to you I can SENSE, (don't say smell), a certain distinct odour, (not SMELL), and therefore, I believe that others must notice it too, and so may our customers, and suppliers. Therefore, it has become legitimate for me to make mention of it to you.

It is also made it legitimate for me to repeat the request that you do whatever you need to do, in respect of this, to remedy the situation: maybe you need to see your GP and get some help and advice? What do you think you can do to fix this?"

You must press on until you gain some kind of commitment to take some kind of action.

At the conclusion of the interview, give Jon a few minutes to compose himself before he returns to work. He has taken a psychological beating.

Cut him some slack.

Make a detailed written record of what you said and what he promised.

Additional notes.
Don't do this interview with anyone else present.
Don't use the word "smell": Neither as a verb or a noun:

I can smell you.
You have a funny smell.

Don't make reference to other peoples complaints.
If you can, make this conversation between just you and him; Not him and the rest of the team.

Only if, he demands to know if anyone else has complained should you let him know that 50 other people have complained that he stinks!

He does not need to know.
If at all possible, he should not know.
It could destroy him.
So, try to keep it one to one.

For more information about assertiveness training and managing conflict please visit the Corporate Coach Training website

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How to manage difficult people

Chris Farmer info@corporatecoachgroup.co.uk — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 00:00:00 GMT

The art of properly managing difficult people

Sometimes you have to manage difficult people.
Managing difficult people will mean that you have to manage emotions.

That may mean managing your own emotions and it may mean that you must manage the other person's emotions.

But the most important thing is that you must manage your own emotions.

If you are unable to manage your own emotions, i.e., if you cannot stop yourself from brimming over with anger, or embarrassment, or upset, or frustration, whenever certain events occur or at the sight of other peoples actions, then you have no hope of managing external events or other people.

If you are able to control your mind and emotions, and you can stop yourself from losing your cool, and you are able to maintain your emotional balance, throughout the whole engagement, then you are in a strong position to manage the emotions of the other person.

So now, let us discuss the primary factor.
How can you control your own emotions, during a conflict situation?

First point. Decide to!
Decide to control your emotions. Do not allow yourself the dangerous luxury of reacting instinctively and immediately to what the other person says to you.

Instead tell yourself, in advance of the meeting, that you will retain full control of your mind, tongue and face.

So, you won't get angry or too upset, you won't say the wrong thing, and you won't pull funny faces.

Second point. Recognise that your thoughts are the cause of your emotions; not the outside event.
Your emotions are a product of your thoughts. They are not a product of anything else.

In other words, in the final analysis, nobody can "Make you angry". You make yourself angry when someone acts in a certain way.

Nobody can "Make you scared". You make yourself scared when someone acts in a certain way.

Nobody can "Make you feel offended". You make yourself offended when someone acts in a certain way.

Traffic lights don't make you angry. You make yourself angry when you a forced to stop by traffic lights.

Therefore, it is always factually wrong to begin any sentence by saying: "You make me feel so angry when .....

It is wrong to begin any sentence by saying: "You make me frustrated, when you ....
It is bad tactics to begin any sentence by saying: "You make me upset, when you .....

Why is it wrong and why is it bad tactics?
It is wrong for the reason already stated. They cannot make you feel anything. Because, you, are the source of your own emotions.

It is bad tactics because, whenever you say to another: "You make me feel, (such and such)", you are giving away your power, and self-control, and handing it over to your opponent.

Whoever has the power, also has the control.

If I tell you, that you have the power to upset me, to the degree to which that is true, is the degree to which I hand over control of my emotions over to you. I am telling you that; my emotions are now dependent on what you decide to do or say.

Now, imagine you are facing a person who wants to upset you, and he says something harsh to you. And you tell him, "I find what you are saying most upsetting!"

What will he be thinking?
Are you making your position tactically better or worse, by telling him how upset his words are making you?

Worse.
A lot worse.
So don't do it.
Don't do it because.

It isn't true; ( because your emotions are a product of your thinking, not his words or actions).
It is bad tactics to say it (because you are telling him exactly what he wants to hear: that he is scoring points against you).
Third point: talk about your opponent's behaviour, not your feelings.

To illustrate this, look at the following monologues. They represent what could be said in the same set of circumstances. The first one is what I consider to be the wrong way of wording it, and the second one is the better way.

Your job is to notice the differences.

1. Steve you really make me angry. You have been standing around moaning about how busy you are for ages. Not only are you not doing anything, but you are disrupting the work of others. Why don't you stop complaining and get on with your work. You are totally unprofessional.

2. Steve, for the last 15 minutes I have heard you talking to Jon about how busy you are, and how much work you have in your tray. Instead of that would you please, go back to your desk, figure out your top priority task and concentrate on that for a while?

1. Roger, I don't like the way you are talking to me. I find your manner quite threatening and you are making me feel nervous. I think you are acting most inappropriately and unfairly. How do you think it makes me feel when you shout at me like that?"

2. Roger, you are using a very loud voice and you are pointing your finger at me as you speak.

If you want to talk to me about this issue that is fine, but you must talk to me in a normal voice and you are going to have to keep your hands down. No pointing. Keep your hands down and speak to me in a normal manner. Okay?

You can see that the second version in each case is better.

It is better because:
It is worded more accurately.
There is no reference to the speaker's feelings. (No suggestion that the speaker has been emotionally rattled).
There is no negative opinion being expressed by the speaker (which means that it is more likely to take the heat out of the situation.)
It is a safer, more objective, more logical, more specific, more professional way of dealing with the difficult person.

Your homework is to digest the following points and put them into practice consistently for 100 years.

Decide to control your emotions.
Recognise that your thoughts, not the outside events, are the cause of your emotions;.
Recognise that It is bad tactics to say to another: "You make me feel, such and such", because you are giving away your power and yourself control and handing it over to your opponent.
Talk about your opponent's behaviour, not your feelings.

Use this safer, more objective, more logical, more specific, more professional way of dealing with the difficult person.

Thank you.

For more information about managing conflict and handling difficult people please visit the Corporate Coach Training website

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Positive mental attitude and how it affects tangible results

Chris Farmer info@corporatecoachgroup.co.uk — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 00:00:00 GMT

Positive mental attitude and how it affects tangible results

All great leaders and managers understand that the attitude of an individual or a team will affect the quality and quantity of their tangible results.

Put simply:

A person with a positive attitude tends to create good results.
A person without a positive attitude tends not to create good results.
A person with a bad attitude tends to create bad results.

What is meant by the term attitude?
We define "Attitude" as:
"The sum of all your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about any issue".
You have attitudes towards everything. You have thoughts, feelings and beliefs about:

Immigration
Religion
The government
The monarchy
Your parents
Your boss
Your job
Yourself and
Your abilities

And note this well: Your attitudes affect how you act.

And how you act affects your results.
And your results affect how you think, feel and what you believe.

So there is a cycle.
1.Thoughts and beliefs together, cause feelings
2.Feelings cause your actions
3.Your actions cause your results
4.Your results trigger the next set of thoughts and beliefs
5.The next set of thoughts and beliefs together, cause more feelings
6.And so on for ever

This cycle can work for you or against you

This cycle working "For you" looks like this:
1. Positive thoughts and beliefs together, cause positive feelings, such as confidence and desire.
2. Positive feelings, confidence and desire cause your actions to be progressive and goal orientated.
3. Your progressive and goal orientated actions tend to create progressively better results.
4. Your progressively better results trigger the next set of positive thoughts and beliefs.
5. The next set of positive thoughts and beliefs together, cause more intense feelings of confidence and high ambition.
6. And so on for ever.

This principle of self-determination by means of controlling your thoughts and feelings, is at the root of all wisdom.
Here is the point as explained by James Allen in his book "As a man thinketh"

The aphorism, "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he," not only embraces the whole of a man's being, but is so comprehensive as to reach out to every condition and circumstance of his life. A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.

As the plant springs from, and could not be without, the seed, so every act of a man springs from the hidden seeds of thought, and could not have appeared without them. This applies equally to those acts called "spontaneous" and "unpremeditated" as to those which are deliberately executed.

Act is the blossom of thought, and joy and suffering are its fruits; thus does a man garner in the sweet and bitter fruitage of his own husbandry.

Leadership and management require that you are able to direct the focus of your mind so that you create the optimum emotional responses appropriate to the circumstance that face you.

This same cycle working "against you" looks like this:
1.Negative thoughts feelings and beliefs together, cause negative feelings, such as anger, bitterness or prejudicial hatred.
2.Negative feelings such as anger, bitterness or prejudicial hatred cause actions to be aggressive or hateful or destructively orientated.
3.Aggressive or hateful or destructively orientated actions tend to create progressively worse results.
4.Progressively worse results trigger the next set of negative thoughts and beliefs.
5.The next set of negative thoughts and beliefs together cause more intense feelings of bitterness, resentment, fear and stress.
6.And so on for ever.

Emotional management requires that you:

Don't succumb to undue pessimism and fear.
Don't overdose on fretting over things that have already happened.

Fix your mind on the moment and on your goals and - mentally - look forwards.

This principle is sometimes called "The self-fulfilling prophecy"
The self-fulfilling prophecy describes how your inner thoughts affect your outer circumstances.The self-fulfilling prophecy makes it imperative that you learn how to create and sustain a positive mental attitude.The self-fulfilling prophecy makes it imperative that you learn how to.

1. Control the content of your mind.
2. Control the content of your conversation.
3. Control the content of their conversation.

Thomas Jefferson:
Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.

Charles Babbage:
On two occasions I have been asked, 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right figures come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.

The last quote from Charles Babbage (Babbage was a British mathematician, an original and innovative thinker and a pioneer of computing) means:

If you put the wrong stuff in then you get the wrong stuff out.If you put the wrong stuff in then you cannot get the right stuff out.
Which means:

If you thing bad thoughts, then, over the long stretch of time, only bad things can come of it.If you think straight and good thoughts, then, over the long stretch of time, only good can come of it.

What does it mean to "think positive"?
It means this:
1. Concentrate your minds energy on your goals for the future.
2. Concentrate your minds energy on the written plans that will most likely achieve the goal.
3. Concentrate your minds energy on exactly how to implement the actions that are dictated in your plan of action.
4. Keep your mind OFF excessive thinking about future defeats and failure.
5. Keep you minds OFF excessive thoughts that are related to past failures.
6. Keep your mind off excessive thoughts of past injustices or past injuries.
7. Keep your mind ON the present moment and the brighter future.

Refuse to entertain excessive thoughts of fear.Refuse to entertain excessive thoughts of anger.

Cultivate and practice conversations that presuppose that your future will be better than today, not because of luck, but by virtue of your own decision to dedicate yourself to formulating your:

1.Clear and distinct Goals.
2.Intelligent written plans.
3.Intelligent implementation of the plans of action.
4.Continuous improvement of the plans of action, as new and better information becomes available.

This is how to create and sustain a Positive mental attitude and how it affects tangible results.

For more information about positive mental attitude training please visit the Corporate Coach Training website

Effective management training

Chris Farmer info@corporatecoachgroup.co.uk — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 00:00:00 GMT

Effective management training

Effective management training is important to you because, if the managers in your organisation perform well, they will be one of the main causes of your continued success, but on the other hand if your managers don't perform well they can become one of the main causes of failure.

The managers are the pivot points in your organisation

The managers are pivot points in the sense that they are the people responsible for taking the strategic goals and plans from the group who form the organisational leadership, and they implement those plans by a process of organisation, delegation, preparation, action, reaction and adaptation.

The manager is the person who turns the theory into practice, in the sense that he she is the intermediary between the planners, (i.e. those in the board room and offices) and the other people who do the work, (i.e. those at the coal face, factory floor, or facing customers).

So, the managers are of immense importance to the success or failure of an organisation.

What is it that management training can do to help your organisation?

Effective management training can help your organisation, by giving to your managers, three things:

1. An effective mental model of exactly what it means to be an effective manager.
2. Specific Instruction on the behaviors and skills (exactly what to do and what to say, and what not to do, and what not to say).
3. Sufficient time to practice the skills, in a "safe environment", so that they can get the feel of how to put the skills into practice, the very next day after the course.

What is the content that the effective manager course should focus on?

The manager course should focus on the six key skills and attributes that all managers must master if they are to be successful in the role.

The key attributes of managers are as follows:

1.The ability to achieve goals and targets within the time allotted for them.
2.The ability to communicate effectively to all types of people.
3.The ability to manage their timeline. Organise, delegate, and prepare.
4.The ability to manage poor-performance issues and difficult personalities.
5.The ability to self-motivate and self-inspire.
6.The ability to inspire and motivate "the troops", (those at the coal face, factory floor, or facing customers)

1. The ability to achieve goals within deadline limits is important to the manager because the organisation, as a whole, requires that each individual team is able to contribute their products to the whole, at the right time. As a metaphor, the whole NASA space shuttle assembly is of no consequence, if the astronaut's space helmets don't work.

"We can't send them into space without the helmets!".

You must be able to get the goods ready, on time, to the desired standard, or above.

That is the first role of the manager.

All else is secondary.

2. Communication skills
The effective manager course must include notes on how to be a good communicator. The manager has to deal with all types of people. From the big cheese to the janitor. And he must be able to forge and maintain good working relationships with all. If there are communication breakdowns or relationship breakdowns then the effect of those is to cause the function of the team to suffer.

Good communication means good powers of verbal expression. Good negotiation skills. Good powers to explain and teach. Good powers of persuasion and good levels of confidence.

Some people can do this without any help.

Other people need help and that is why management courses should always provide a strong section on verbal expression and communication.

3. Planning skills
The effective manager training needs to cover planning skills. The ability to plan ahead, prioritise, prevent problems, organise and react to changing circumstances is also part of the managers remit.

And this is not easy. It is not easy to organise and delegate tasks to other human beings.

Other human beings have a terrible tendency to act in accordance with their own designs, which are not necessarily the same as the plan of action.

So, planning is important, but so too is ..............

4. Handling difficult personalities
As soon as you get a group of people together and try to get them to work towards the achievement of a goal according to a predetermined plan, you will find conflict will erupt in some form.

People disagree.
People disagree about the goal.
People disagree about the plan. They don't like the plan.
Sometimes; they don't like each other!
And yet they have to work with the people that they don't like.
And the manager has to manage this process. So the manager needs training in how to handle conflict and difficult people.

Therefore, Conflict skills are important, but so too is ..............

5. Self-motivation and self-confidence skills
The effect of striving to hit deadlines, dealing with all types, from big cheeses to janitors, the effect of writing and rewriting plans, and of dealing with interminable squabbles between members of the team, can have a deleterious effect on the psyche.

I.e. sometimes the manager can feel fed up and sick of the whole damn thing!

So then the question arises, "who will ride to the rescue and motivate the downhearted manager?"

Will it be the big cheese boss who will come down stairs from the ivory tower and deliver a motivational speech? - No.
Will it be the janitor? - No.
Will it be the team will get together and agree to pull together and thus motivate their manager? No.

So who can the manager rely upon to motivate him? Her?
He can rely on nobody, but himself.

The managers must be able to motivate themselves. They must self-motivate, self-inspire, self-encourage, and develop their own self-confidence, self-esteem and personal initiative.

Some people can do that without any help.

Other people need help and that is why management courses should always provide a strong section on how to develop self-confidence, self-esteem and personal initiative.

If you have come this far you now can take the final step.

Step 6.

6. The ability to inspire and motivate the troops.

If you have:

The ability to achieve goals and targets within the time allotted for them.
The ability to communicate effectively to all types of people.
The ability to manage your timeline. To organise, delegate, prepare.
The ability to manage poor-performance issues and difficult personalities.
The ability to self-motivate and self-inspire.

Then you will, as a bonus, have developed the ability to inspire and motivate "the troops", the workers!

It is important to inspire others around you because people who are not inspired don't work very productively. People who are inspired do.

The problem is that problems tend to dis-inspire most people and so they become less productive, which causes more problems; which causes people to become less inspired; which negatively affects their performance, which creates more problems..etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

So, managers must work hard to create and sustain a positive atmosphere in the team.

Some people can do this without any help.

Other people need help and that is why management courses should always provide a strong section on how to develop a positive atmosphere in the team.

Effective management training is important to you because, if the managers in your organisation perform well, they will be one of the main causes of your continued success,

Effective management training can help your organisation.

For more information about the Effective Management Training Course please visit the Corporate Coach Training website

Five principles of confident communication

Chris Farmer info@corporatecoachgroup.co.uk — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 00:00:00 GMT

Five principles of confident communication

Are you a confident communicator?
Or do you sometimes say to yourself, "I know what I mean, but I can't explain it?"

Do you sometimes feel nervous when you are expected to express yourself to a group of other people?

If you lack confidence as a communicator, then this lack can have a negative effect on many aspects of your life, both at work and at home.

And if only you could gain more confidence as a communicator, then that gain would have a positive effect on many aspects of your life both at work and at home.

So the question on your mind is this:how can I gain confidence as a communicator.

Let us answer that question.

The first thing to say about gaining confidence is this;
Confidence comes from competence!

Confidence comes from knowing what you are doing.

If you don't know what you are doing, then how can you feel confident?

If you do know exactly what you are doing and you know how to do it, then you are bound to feel more confident.

So, the first thing to say about confidence in communication is this:

Assert your opinion only on the basis of knowledge.

Putting the same point the other way: Don't talk about things you don't know about.

Putting the same point in many different ways:

1. If you don't know much about the subject, then don't act as if you do.
2. Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know enough about that to form a valid opinion".
3. Don't guess, or fabricate.
4. Listen more than you speak.
5. Talk about things that you know.
6. Draw on your own experience and knowledge and be firm when you think you have sufficient evidence to justify your view.
7. Ask people the following question: "how do you know?"

For example: if the person says something like, "The government is in league with big business", then don't feel obliged to argue, simply rely on asking this great question: "How do you know?"

Before you speak, or write anything, be sure that you could, if challenged, answer the same question, "How do you know?"

Second principle of confident communication.Use language that is as clear, specific and precise as you can make it.

Putting the same point the other way: Don't use vague, ambiguous and generalised language.
Remember the phrase: Clarity is a virtue; vagueness is a vice.

The purpose of communication is to accurately transfer information, ideas and emotions from one mind to another.

And the more accurately that is done the better is the communication.

Therefore, it is important to use accurate, specific, precise language as you can find, rather than allow yourself the use of inaccurate, unspecific, or imprecise language.

For example: look at the following pairs of statements. Both express the same thought or event, but one is more specific than the other.

Question: which one of each pair is the more specific and therefore, according to this theory, is the better option:

* The car went by me really fast.
* The car went by me at about 70 or 80 mph.

* Steve showed a lack of respect in the meeting yesterday.
* Steve ate all the biscuits in the meeting yesterday and in addition he left crumbs all over the table.

* I am worried that I will mess up my speech to the conference.
* I am worried that I will not remember all my speech to the conference or that someone will ask me a question that I can't answer.

You can see that the second option in each case is the more specific and is therefore, according to this theory, the better option.

Therefore, in order to be more confident, strive to use language that is as clear, specific and precise as you can make it.

Third principle of confident communication.

Reinforce your message with good body language.

To a very large degree you communicate your levels of confidence, not through what you say, but rather, from how you look, as you are saying it. It is your appearance, your mannerisms and your body posture that indicates to others your emotional state.

Remember this: nobody can mind read.
Nobody can tell what you are thinking and feeling unless you tell them or show them.

* You tell them how you feel with your words.
* You show them how you feel with your body language.

And as you can control your language, you can control, if you choose to, your body language.

Here are some specific tips on body language that will help you to project an air of confidence:

* Stand or sit up straight. Don't slouch.
* Look at people in the eye. Don't evade eye contact.
* Dress according to the context. Don't let your appearance label you as a loser.
* Use hand and gestures to give visual reinforcement to your spoken message. Animate yourself.
* But never point at anyone. Use an open handed, palms down, below the eye line hand gesture, to emphasise key points.

Fourth principle of confident communication
Reinforce your message with good voice tone.

To a very large degree you communicate your levels of confidence, not through what you say, but how you say it; in terms of your voice tone. It is your voice tones; meaning your voice pitch, voice volume, voice intonation and rhythm that indicates to others your emotional state.

Nobody can mind read.
Nobody can tell what you are feeling unless you tell them or show them.
You tell them how you feel with words.
You show them how you feel with your voice tones.
And as you can control your language, you can control, if you choose to, your voice tones.

Here are some specific tips on voice tone that will help you to project an air of confidence:* Slow down your pace of delivery: don't rush. Don't speed through your points.

* Use the lower deeper part of your voice tones. Don't use a squeaky, high pitched voice tone.
* Vary your voice tones, don't be monotone.

Don't feel that you have to fill every moment of time with speech. Don't be afraid of silence. Be comfortable with silences.
Periodic silences are good because silence allows people time to mentally digest what they have already heard.

Fifth principle of confident communication
Give yourself mental encouragement.

Putting the same point the other way: Don't destroy your own confidence by negative self-talk.

Talk yourself up.

Don't talk yourself down.

Everyone talks to themselves.

In your head you have a continuous flow of thoughts, in the form of language, an inner voice; that forms part of your inner world. Some people use that inner voice to give themselves courage and confidence.

Others use that inner voice to decimate the courage and devastate their confidence.

* Some people say to themselves, a thousand times a day: "I am the greatest!"
* Other people say to themselves, a thousand times a day: "I am not good enough".
* Some people say to themselves, "I know I can do it. I just need to find the right method".
* Other people say to themselves, a thousand times a day: "I know I can't do it. So why even try?"

If you lack confidence as a communicator, I would wager that you are guilty of this error.

The error of talking yourself down with negative self-talk.

You are saying the wrong things to yourself. And you do it too often, for too long.

It is time to stop talking yourself down and time to start talking yourself up.

Confidence is an emotion and all emotions are the product of thought.

If you think you are not good enough, then you cannot feel confident.

If you think you are more than good enough, then you cannot, not feel confident!

So, work on yourself talk skills!

Here is a summary of the five principles of confident communication, given in order of importance:
1. Give yourself mental encouragement. Talk yourself up.
2. Assert your opinion only on the basis of knowledge.
3. Use language that is as clear, specific and precise as you can make it.
4. Reinforce your message with good body language.
5. Reinforce your message with good voice tones.

For more information about our communications skills training courses please visit the Corporate Coach Training website