Communication and Assertiveness

We all have to handle people who we regard as difficult. They sometimes do things they shouldn’t.

This leads to frustration, bad relationships and a drop in performance.

Some people “charge in”. They make the situation worse. They say the wrong things.

Some others throw up their hands and hope that the issue will go away on its’ own. (It won’t).

What we need is a method, or better still, a number of methods to help us deal with “difficult people”

The purpose of this communication and assertiveness training course is to provide a system; a definite set of principles that will help. It presents three different methods, each one used in a different context. They will provide you with a “tool box” of principles and techniques that you can start using immediately.

Communication and assertiveness objectives

The Communication and assertiveness course objectives:

• To understand that conflicts must be resolved rationally.
• To give guidelines on what to say and do whenever you are in a conflict situation.
• To give guidelines on what you should not do whenever you are in a conflict situation.

Communication and assertiveness

Principles of Power

Power has many forms. To handle difficult people you might:

1. Invoke fear of force.
2. Issue commandments and demand obedience.
3. Strive for popularity. Give concessions until the other person is happy.
4. Reason.
   

We must reject 1, 2, and 3 and use only “Reason”.

Under the banner of reason, we have three different methods

Three Key distinctions

• Identity v behaviour
• The self-concept

Method One

What to do about “daily irritants”.
What to do when people are doing little things that are “off track”. You cannot leave it, but you do not want this to blow up into a full-fledged argument. So, this five-step-model will show you how to “nip things in the bud”, without getting drawn in. We call this the “One minute method”

Method Two

What happens if the “One minute method” does not work, and they keep doing it?
The next model focuses on finding reasons and/or intention behind the overt behaviour and resolving the deeper issue. The method is called “Research Reasons”

Method Three

This method is the last before you might invoke “disciplinary” or “formal sanctions” (which you want to avoid because it is costly and causes more problems).
Is based on the principle that people act in what they regard as their best interest. The idea is to have a person re-evaluate their current behaviour in terms of its personal long-term consequences. This method requires that you do not tell people you ask only questions.  This method is derived from sales literature, (you have to sell your ideas; you cannot force them). The method is called “implication questions”

This communication and assertiveness course has evolved to answer actual, real life scenarios; it is practical and offers good, solid advice applied to particular problems.

Communication and assertiveness training - Summary and action plan

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